doodlesanddroolpuddles

  1. 4 days ago

    "8 AM?! What the fuck is this? I can’t be expected to be in a meeting at 8 AM."

    I had a very professional reaction to this meeting invite.

    Tim knows very well that I show up any time between 7:30 and 9, and there’s no plan or pattern to when exactly that will be each day. It’s just whenever I decide I feel like it’s time to go to work. I think I get away with this because I continue to get my work done on time, so my bosses give me some leniency. It probably also helps that there’s no one else here that can do what I do.

    This may be Tim finally punishing me for all my sarcasm too. That cunt.

    super professional

    everythingiscunts

  2. 4 days ago

      Matt is a little puppy dog of a human being and Tim is an idiot

      1. Tim:So, how was the camping weekend?

      2. Me:It was boring and we sat around playing board games the whole time and nothing eventful or story-worthy happened.

      3. Tim:Really?

      4. Me:No! But Matt stabbed a guy, and I was trying not to tell you that.

      5. Tim:Really?

      6. Me:No! Wow, you're bad at this game. Seriously? Matt? Stab a guy? I'm surprised he uses a fork to stab his food.

      7. Matt:*sits quietly through this whole thing turning a darker shade of red every second*

      This weekend was absurd and will not be discussed at work

      Especially not with my fucking boss

      Tim is a fucking idiot

  3. 1 week ago

    This little guy scared the fuck out of Cody, so I moved him to this brick pile. He seems to be enjoying his day much more. #SnakesOfInstagram (at Cody’s “Cabin”)

    This little guy scared the fuck out of Cody, so I moved him to this brick pile. He seems to be enjoying his day much more. #SnakesOfInstagram (at Cody’s “Cabin”)

    snakesofinstagram

  4. 1 week ago

    #FuckWork #GoCamping (at Cody’s “Cabin”)

    #FuckWork #GoCamping (at Cody’s “Cabin”)

    fuckwork

    gocamping

  5. 1 week ago

    Cody isn’t here today, and I got ahold of some #GoPro stickers, so I’m rebranding all of his soup cans because I know it will annoy him a little bit #SorryAboutGeorge (at The Place Where Serious Science Happens)

    Cody isn’t here today, and I got ahold of some #GoPro stickers, so I’m rebranding all of his soup cans because I know it will annoy him a little bit #SorryAboutGeorge (at The Place Where Serious Science Happens)

    gopro

    sorryaboutgeorge

  6. 1 week ago

    M: Good morning.
    Me: Morning, M. That’s three for the week, by the way. Good thing I’m not here tomorrow.
    M: Not here tomorrow? How do I get a job up there with all that time off?
    Me: Well, it involves a lot of whistling, so you might have an issue.
    M: Oh.
    Me: Yeah, those rules of yours have finally come back to bite you.
    M: Sometimes it stinks to follow the rules.
    Me: M, that is not a problem I’ve ever had.

    No whistling in the lab

    Only three 'good mornings' per week

  7. 1 week ago

    The things these #idiots do don’t even surprise me anymore (at The Place Where Serious Science Happens)

    The things these #idiots do don’t even surprise me anymore (at The Place Where Serious Science Happens)

    idiots

  8. notes

    1 week ago

    "Approx 1.4 years ago…"

    I stopped reading the email at this point. This was the beginning of the second sentence.

    Goddamn Canadians

    Who raised you?

    1.4 years?

  9. 1 week ago

    frictionlesssuperfeet compares me to Edison (for whom I have a strong dislike) as we discuss the things I do to amuse myself at Al’s expense. For Science!

    frictionlesssuperfeet compares me to Edison (for whom I have a strong dislike) as we discuss the things I do to amuse myself at Al’s expense. For Science!

    text message conversations

    fuck you Edison

    Al is the worst

  10. 1 week ago

    "Yep, those samples got here last week while I was off, so I’ll take a look at them today and—*cleaning guy who has spent the last three (seriously, three) hours standing in a hallway fucking around on his phone decides that this is the point he should turn on the vacuum right next to me*—goddamnit, let me call you back in a minute."

    Really professional phone call I just had with a client

    super professional

  11. notes

    2 weeks ago

    Oh, hey, you guys, frictionlesssuperfeet has been visiting for a couple days and some nice lady took a picture of us at Niagara Falls today.

    Oh, hey, you guys, frictionlesssuperfeet has been visiting for a couple days and some nice lady took a picture of us at Niagara Falls today.

  12. notes

    3 weeks ago

    These assholes I call friends tied a balloon to my wrist and got me ice cream. So now I’m probably going to throw up. Because before this was beer and whiskey which then evolved into sugary pink drink night. Perfect. #HappyBirthdayToMe

    These assholes I call friends tied a balloon to my wrist and got me ice cream. So now I’m probably going to throw up. Because before this was beer and whiskey which then evolved into sugary pink drink night. Perfect. #HappyBirthdayToMe

    happybirthdaytome