May 2012
9 posts
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Travel planning
Need to leave the house by 8 am
6:00: Wake up 6:01: Pull suitcase out of closet 6:15: Finish packing 6:16: Bored
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You guys,
Because I am a bad person, I organized a celebrity death draft, wherein myself and a group of nine other friends/teams pick the people we think will die this year and earn points based on their age if they kick the bucket. My team included both Robin Gibb and the Lockerbie Bomber. Today was a good day. For me. Not them. Obviously.
I just woke up and thought it was Saturday for a...
Damn.
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Tomorrow
I will be sore. Soccer today was rough. Tuesday will be worse. Also, my left ass cheek started to cramp up about half an hour in. I kept playing because it’s not too bad, and I’m an adult, but it’s super annoying. And I have no idea how to stretch it.
First soccer game of the year
Pretty pumped.
People who sleep normal hours miss out on so many...
Do the birds start singing at everyone else’s house at about 4:30 every morning? This is earlier than I remember it being before. I dig it though. I like going to sleep to that sound.
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dubiousmerchant:
klauskohut:
John Darnielle,...
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“You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out -...”
– Munich nymphomaniac: Second victim found weeping in street (via fungazi)
fuckin’ haters.
(via jasencomstock)
I really wish the DailyMail would learn to fact check. Munich is spelled N-E-W Y-O-R-K. And I am not 47, thank you very much.
(via littleorphanammo)
“They declined.”
April 2012
13 posts
3 tags
Pep Guardiola will not return as manager of... →
Following Barcelona’s stunning defeat by Chelsea on Tuesday and the impending coronation of Real as champions of Spain, 41-year-old Guardiola informed the club of his decision, which is thought to be that he feels both he and the players would benefit from a change.
A press conference will be held later this morning.
Wow. This is pretty huge. Not totally unexpected, but still a big deal....
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My tummy is full of sammich
And my eyes are about to be closed. Love you, Sunday afternoons.
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Tuesday nights are my favorite
Scene: Steve and I eating out of a bowl. Emily joins us in the kitchen.
Emily: What are you guys eating?
Me: *shrug*
Steve: I don't know, what is this shit?
Emily: That's Dutch apple pie topping! You can't eat that!
Me: Umm, it appears that we can. *shovels more into mouth*
Emily: It's basically brown sugar and butter. Give me that!
Me: Yeah, that's why it's delicious.
Emily: *takes bowl away*
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“I hate playing and going outside. I only like to eat eat eat.”
– The misguided ramblings of Michael (a surprisingly slim five your old Thai Canadian lactose intolerant who I met over a beer and a watermelon smoothie in a cafe during a rainstorm). He was from Hamilton Ontario though, so perhaps his aversion to the outdoors has something to do with Hamilton’s...
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avec|sans|plus: A note on rust belt living. →
avecsansplus:
To thrive in a rust belt city means to make the most of small pleasures. You will have a local coffee place with friendly baristas. You will have a regular seat at your usual weekend place, where that same colorful character will serve you that same cheap drink. You will feel, at your core, a small but crucial part of a decaying but comforting neighborhood.
Your rent will be...
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“That was a well placed cunt.”
– Sharon
This is mostly for James, who is away teaching in Thailand/traveling SE Asia and missing out on TBLTuesdays. James, your mother finally appreciated my use of the most hilarious word in the English language, with a fantastic sentence of her own.
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Men in Blazers: The Charge Was Racism →
This is brilliant! The man who wrote it should get an award. All the awards! I can’t decide whether I love this screenplay or Stoke fans singing “He cheats, he dives, he hates the Jackson 5, Luis Suareeez, Luis Suareeeeeeeeeeeeez!” most. Either way we all win. Well, except Luis Suarez. And Anne Hathaway.
meninblazers:
Here at Men in Blazers, much is written or said without...
March 2012
3 posts
1 tag
4 tags
You guys,
I’ve been seriously neglecting writing anything here lately. Work has been super busy, and the nights I don’t have anything to do basically involve me coming home, reading a little bit, then going to bed. Yuck.
Anyway, today was the last day for a fella I work with that got hired a week or two after I started. So besides the already overwhelming amount of work I currently have my...
6 tags
February 2012
8 posts
3 tags
Do I feel good about gambling on The Biggest...
Of course not. It makes me a terrible person. But it feels great when I do well at it! Especially when Jason crashes out so early as his two fatties go out in back to back weeks. Sorry big boy, better luck next season. Don’t forget another delicious desert next week.
In case you’re new here, this is a thing we do every week. Meet up at James’s parents’ house (even now that...
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Happy Mardi Gras Day!
Sorry liver, you’ve got one more day to get through.
Dear Liver,
This weekend is gonna be rough for you. See you Tuesday. Good luck buddy.
Hugs&Kisses, George
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Men In Blazers 2/9 →
You guys! I’ll give you one guess as to who’s email was read and answered brilliantly on last week’s podcast. Hint: The answer is me (Near the end at around 42:50). Anyway if you watch/follow/play soccer and you’re not already listening to Men In Blazers you are making a big mistake. So correct it.
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Why Being Sleepy and Drunk Is Great for Creativity →
You guys, from now on whenever I’m drunk I will instead be referring to it as “creatively enhanced”.
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On the clock
Today is the day I picked in the pool at work for MB’s baby to be born. I don’t think I have much of a shot though. As of Friday he said his wife didn’t seem close at all. But MB sure does love him some Jesus, so I’ve been reminding him daily that Sunday is “the Lord’s day” and thus a great day to be born in the hopes that he prays that baby out I guess? I...
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Mitt Romney is like a really poorly written Ayn...
welcometothisblogbitch:
So like an Ayn Rand character.
YuuuP!
January 2012
12 posts
2 tags
“Soon Stef and I will be experimenting with watermelons and avocados...”
– James, in his last email to me from Thailand
Between this and the part where he called some of his 2nd grade students cunts (calling babies cunts is something I do all the time, but he had thus far refrained from) this particular letter had me laughing so hard that I was basically crying.
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Oatmeal: not liquid
I took my parents to the airport the other day on my way to work. About a half hour later I received a phone call from my Da. He was basically in tears laughing. TSA had confiscated my Ma’s oatmeal when they went through security, and Ma could not for the life of her understand why. I could hear her in the background still talking to Da, saying “But it’s not a liquid!” He...
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I know my limits
I am really glad that I agree with the Girl Scouts on this one, because I promise you guys, not a single one of my moral convictions would hold up to deprivation of those perfect, delicious bits of peanut buttery goodness that are Do-Si-Dos.
“They’re killing adorable puppies for no reason at all and I can stop it? And all I have to do is give up Do-Si-Dos? Sorry, I’m...
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Oh, right. It's January and this is Buffalo.
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Once again, teaching my ma, the nurse, about...
Ma: Wait, did you just say you were eating bacon while you were sick?
Me: Umm, yeah? It's good for you.
Ma: No it's not!
Me: I think it is.
Ma: Just take some medicine.
Me: I'm fine, I had the bacon.
Ma: Are you really trying to tell me bacon is better than medicine?
Me: No, I'm trying to tell you that bacon is medicine. You see-
Ma: *muttering, but knowing I'm impossible to stop at this point* Oh Jesus, here we go.
Me: I was feeling like complete shit earlier. Then I ate bacon. Now I only feel medium shitty. See, the bacon made me better!
Ma: Are you done?
Me: It's science!
Ma: Just take the damn medicine.
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Dana's team lost at the roller derby tonight
But she kicked so much ass. For real. All the ass. I was super proud of her. She’s going to have a great second season.
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“Did you put your mouth in her nose?”
– MJJJ still isn’t quite clear on how sex works.
December 2011
7 posts
2 tags
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Travel update
I just got into Sydney today. I have internet for the first time (I could have had it anytime I wanted, but I just didn’t care enough to work it out). So I figured I’d let you guys know how things are going.
Before this I was in Cairns. I did a day of scuba diving and snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. It was incredible. I did a day in the rain forest as well. Also amazing. I saw a...
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Goodbye 'merica
See you soon island of criminals where all the animals can and want to kill you.
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“South Australia” - The Pogues
I...